cali_online (cali_online) wrote in dukkhapervades,

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the meditation of tears

Good Earthturning;

I've been watching this community since it started but haven't really felt I have much to contribute. Lately I've been away from the net and intermittently turning a thought over in my head which I had earlier this year, and wonder whether it may be of interest: Weeping and meditation may have something in common...

I found myself at the beginning of this year moved to tears by something; I forget what. In the course of which I wondered whether this was not rather self-indulgent of me. Perhaps I was somehow acting the tears out in a narcissistic manner. This is not a new thought; in fact it is one which I have had increasingly at such moments for over a decade. I have slowly come to suspect my tears have not always been as heartwrung as I primly believe they ought to have been. ;-)

I have generally thought that this is untrue on the whole - examination of the sensations which lead on to tears (grief, shock, overwhelming joy, etc.) tends to confirm that they are as real as it gets. Perhaps the fact that I seem no longer to be capable of experiencing a strong emotion without examining it is what produces the suspicion...

But early this year I came to a new thought: At times, perhaps tears are an indulgence ... but perhaps the function of tears for humans, and the source of their reputed healing power, is that through weeping we find a way of probing the depth of our grief (or whatever), and eventually finding that there is an end to it. At least, there always has been for me.

If so, is there a meditation of tears?

Of course, it may not be so simple ... perhaps my experience is not similar to others ... perhaps you need to have some tendency to examine emotions meditatively in order for it to work. And there is also, I believe, destructive weeping, which brings neither healing nor understanding; or so it seems, for some people in some situations. For some it seems not to end at all, until exhaustion or the nurse brings sleep.

Any thoughts which people could offer on this would be received with gratitude.

Beannachd leibh.

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